"Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out."
John Wooden
I was sitting in my kitchen having coffee with some in-laws when once
again, they decided to launch an attack on my eating habits. Mind you,
Ive been through this drill enough times that I ought to have the good
sense to get up and leave the room when this happens. Yet, I remain
seated and the battle is joined. The absurd arguments are always the
same, with their reasons being:
- Anything sugar-free tastes like excrement.
- No one would want to live that way.
- Its not worth it.
- What you eat has no effect on possibly developing diabetes
or other health problems.
- I should just count calories instead.
I used to give them the benefit of the doubt. I assumed that they argued against
my low carb lifestyle because they felt sorry for me having to give up all the
bread, pasta, and pastry that they live on. After all, they are family! Family
would only be looking out for my best interests, right?
Wrong. Dead wrong!
I have come to the conclusion that their motives for attacking my lifestyle are not in any
way based on genuine concern. In fact, I believe that there are a number of reasons,
none of them altruistic, for their constant criticism. They are after me much as the
Pinkertons were after Jesse James. I have become the family outlaw.
It occurs to me that their primary motive for condemning my food choices is jealousy.
I believe this because interestingly, all of the male family members are encouraging
and complimentary about my lifestyle. The women, on the other hand, could not be more
negative. Why? Because they would be much more comfortable with me if I were fat and
frumpy.
Im certain that the denim skirt and fitted shirt I was wearing was the
trigger for this latest assault. My husband was grinning at me all day. My brother-in-law
fussed over me again as he has been the last couple of months. I looked good and that
made these women uncomfortable. Virtually all of the women in the family are
overweight. They got married, had babies, and got fat. Thats just the way it is.
I choose not to be fat, therefore I am an interloper. I have the audacity to be
thin, thus demonstrating that overweight is a choice. Shame on me!
Not only is my weight problematic for my dear relatives, health is another proverbial
thorn in their sides. If I am right, and manage to avoid clogged arteries, heart
disease, and adult onset diabetes by following a low carb lifestyle, then they would
have to own some responsibility for their various health problems. It is so much
easier to chalk it up to luck of the draw. Worse, they might have to accept or
admit that they were wrong. Cajoling me into joining them in carbohydrate hell
would be much more conducive to their agenda.
On the subject of agendas, I know control is a major issue for my in-laws. My husband
and I dont always go along with their program and that is a major annoyance to them.
Since my eating doesnt fit their idea of normal, they expect me to change to suit them.
I hold my ground and refuse to eat the things that I know to be detrimental to my health
and weight. The battle rages on. Sure, I could eat a piece of bread to make them feel
better, but I wont subordinate my needs to their desires.
Along those same lines, I sense the mere fact that I have such control over my eating drives
them crazy. My husband fully supports my low carb lifestyle, but he is not giving up his
carbs. When we have his family over, which is often, I am a gracious hostess. I serve a
bounty of food that includes both high and low carb choices. I willingly cook, bake, and
serve the foods my guests enjoy and expect; I simply choose not to eat the high carb items.
I do not attempt to impose my eating habits upon my guests, yet they feel the need to
insult my lifestyle. Conversely, when I visit their homes, never have they bothered
to consider what I will or will not eat. Even then, I am a gracious guest. I always
bring a few dishes including at least one low carb item.
They cannot control me, but
I can, unlike them, control myself. Because of this, I have the power. This is
unacceptable for two reasons. I am a member of the family only by virtue of marriage,
and marriage to the baby of the family at that. In their minds, they should have all
the power. I dont know if this will ever resolve, but I do know with absolute certainty
that I will not change my eating habits just to satisfy someone elses desperate need
for control.
Right about now, you are probably thinking that I dislike my in-laws. In fact, nothing
could be further from the truth. I deeply love these people. I enjoy having a house
full of family, and invite them all over often. I do my best to accommodate their
tastes because I care about them. I know what each persons favorite food is and
make sure it is on the table, because I enjoy making them happy. They are a close-knit
family that will drop everything to come running to the aid of any family member in
distress. If I were ill or in trouble, they would be here in a heartbeat to help me,
just as they have in the past. I can count on these people far more than I could any
blood relation. In turn, I would do anything within my power to help any one of them.
Well, anything except eat bread and sugar. Maybe one day they will accept me anyway.
Jo Cordi Sica,
SPHR Organizational Development
and Training
[email protected]
Copyright © November 2003 Jo Cordi Sica and Low Carb Luxury
Title photo Copyright © 2003 Neil Beaty and Low Carb Luxury
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