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Perfect Scrambled Eggs
Questions and Answers
Bonus Recipes: Rhubarb
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Ever wish you could make those elusive, nearly perfect scrambled eggs? As low carbers, most of us eat them
regularly, but it can be a challenge to make them light and fluffy without getting them "wet", or making
them tough... Let's look at the ever-talented Burke and Wells' secret to making them perfect every time!
There are two ingredients: unsalted butter and eggs. You need only a good sauté pan and a wooden spoon.
Perfect scrambled eggs are born through patience and technique. You will be rewarded.
Anyone can make these eggs, but you must start with great eggs. Laid yesterday eggs. Farm eggs. Do not
attempt this recipe with supermarket eggs no matter how fresh they claim to be. “Organic” does not mean
fresh. If you cannot secure truly farm-fresh eggs no more than three days old, have a bowl of cereal.
This recipe fails with anything less than the freshest eggs. You may use any unsalted butter, the higher
the quality the better (any supermarket butter will do).
Crack your eggs into a bowl. Scramble them with a fork or eggbeater, but incorporate no air. If your eggs
are too frothy, let them stand a while.
Place your sauté pan on the stove and set the burner to its lowest possible level. Does your stovetop
have settings from one to ten? Put it on one. Is it a gas range? Work to achieve the barest hint of flame.
Butter the pan lightly.
Add the scrambled eggs to the pan. Take your wooden spoon and slowly stir for thirty minutes.
This bears repeating. With your wooden spoon, continually stir this mixture for thirty minutes. If your
eggs are cold from the fridge this can take longer. If it’s one or two eggs at room temperature, this can
take less time. But in no way can this process be rushed. Stir to get the eggs off the bottom, stir-scraping
with the spoon over every inch of surface.
Now you will go insane. You will stand at the stove, slowly stirring these raw scrambled eggs while nothing
happens. “Why don’t I just turn up the heat and get this over with,” you’ll ask. This is the devil’s
question, put it behind you, focus, stir. “Nothing’s happening,” you’ll say, “I’ve been stiring forever
and they’re still raw, I must have the heat too low. ” You do not have the heat too low. Be patient, have faith.
Then, slowly, glacially, when you’re halfway done with War and Peace, something will happen. Bits of
scrambled egg will appear floating in the raw mixture. Keep stiring, keep scrape-stirring. More will form.
Over the next agonizing minutes, everything becomes a loose porridge.
You’re done. This, too, bears repeating. You’re done. Put the eggs in a shallow bowl, take your spoon and
sit down at the table. They will continue to cook slightly in the bowl. Sprinkle on a little salt.
“Too runny!” you’ll shout. “Too soft!” you’ll scream. “They look half-cooked, I’m going to get salmonella!” you’ll cry.
Shift your expectations, put aside your distaste for soft eggs, try it.
If your eggs were fresh, if you were patient, if you had a low flame and never stopped stir-scraping, you will
have your first bite of Perfect Scrambled Eggs. You will taste warm velvet. You will shudder with new pleasure.
You will never, ever believe this could come from your own stove, for less than twenty cents.
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