Is the glass half full or half empty?

The way you answer that simple cliché question really does say a lot about the way you perceive the world.

Wait! Before you run off thinking I'm one of those people, I assure you that I am not. I have never been one to buy into the "if you can believe it, you can achieve it" theory. So, I'm certainly not going to try to preach to anyone about thinking or speaking things into being. It's not my style.

My mother, on the other hand, has always believed this line of thinking. She is a very religious woman and has told me for years that negativity will ruin you. "Thinking negative thoughts and speaking negative words will allow negativity into your heart and mind and open the door for negative things to happen in your life," she has always said. I never bought it... until recently.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not becoming one of those annoying people who are constantly smiling, whistling, telling anyone who'll listen how wonderful everything is, never having a bad day... ICK! I've just altered my perspective a bit.

A new year has begun and frankly, I've taken a good hard look at myself, where I'm at in my life compared to where I thought I'd be, and where I'd hoped to be, that sort of thing. I wasn't thrilled with the view.

I won't bore you with the details of my own aspirations. I'm sure none of us has become exactly what we thought we would be, but the thing that stuck out the most in my mind was my perception of my life and of myself. I questioned myself. Why had I not met my own expectations? Was God punishing me for some reason? Why were other people more worthy than I? Why wasn't I "good enough?"

I wanted to place blame somewhere. I started blaming all the people that had hurt me; my ex-husband and other men who'd caused me emotional pain and turmoil throughout my life immediately came to mind. I thought that their actions had caused my life's path to alter somehow.

As I was speaking the words, I realized how negative they sounded and immediately started doing some research on negativity and its impact on our lives. I learned some valuable lessons.

Let's face it. Bad things happen. They happen to all of us. There is no such thing as a perfect life, and those people who walk around happy all the time are…well, annoying to say the least. We all know that! However, those with a constant negative attitude are certainly not people we want to be around either.

Negativity can consume one's mind, cause a shift in one's line of thinking, and effect how one might make decisions or approach daily life. It can lead to lack of self-esteem, poor self-image, self-pity, depression, and even physical illness.

Positive (yet realistic) thinkers do have one up on us negative Nellies.

So, the question is, are you a negative thinker? Do you see the glass as half empty? Ask yourself these simple questions:

• Do you believe other people "cause" your feelings?
  
  
• Are you overly critical of yourself and others?
  
  
• Do you go out of your way to please others, while neglecting yourself?
  
  
• Are you a perfectionist?
  
  
• Do you hang on to bad memories?
  
  
• Do you look at the negative side of things rather than the positive?

• We all create our own feelings. No person or event can "cause" your feelings. Own your feelings! They are your feelings after all.
  
  
• Criticism is simply not nice. Instead of finding fault, find something good to say. Let's not forget the classic rule, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Give yourself and others an encouraging word.
  
  
• No one can please everyone. It's wonderful to do things for others, but not at the expense of our own health and happiness. Do something nice for the most important person in your life — YOU!
  
  
• No one is perfect. Let me say that again, NO ONE IS PERFECT! Set realistic goals for yourself. Otherwise, you're simply setting yourself up for failure. Do the best you can and accept failures when they happen. They will happen.
  
  
• The past is simply that — the past! Leave it there. Learn from mistakes and experiences and only carry that knowledge into the present with you. The only thing in the past that can harm you is how you view it. Why carry around a bunch of baggage? Let go!
  
  
• You are the only one who can change your outlook. Your happiness (or lack thereof) depends only upon what you think, how you feel, how you treat yourself, and how you view the world.

There's a song that says something about how life is a race and we all start out the same way. How we run the race is the difference. I agree completely. What you make of yourself and your life is up to you and you alone. No one else can make those choices for you. You cannot blame anyone else for your successes or for your failures.

I have realized that my life may not be what I thought it would be at this point, but it's certainly not a bad life...

I'm healthy. I have an amazing family. I have some of the best friends anyone could hope for. I have a job that I love.

When you take the time to look at all of the things that could be going on in your life, that not–so–great view changes a bit. It's all about perspective.

My challenge to everyone is this... Rethink the way you look at yourself, your life, and those around you. Stop for a moment and realize that the way we view others is only a reflection of how we view ourselves. Set realistic goals for yourself and reward yourself when you reach them.

After all — you deserve it. We all do.